"HANK"
ABOUT ME: Yes hello I am Hank Mardukas and I like to ruin things. I especially like to pee on my mat and then rip it up so it's like fun yellow confetti, wheee! I think my parents must like this because it's like a parade in their honour every time they come home.
I am 4 months old and I have just learned to jump on things. My favourite thing to jump on is my parents bed while they are sleeping and show my affection by biting their faces and ears. Some dogs lick when they like things, but I think it's more meaningful if you bite to show that you never want to let go. I have also learned how to bark but I have chosen to do this exclusively when Dad shoots at me with finger guns.
I am pretty cute and I get really frustrated when people don't understand that and don't stop to give me attention. I think maybe they just can't handle it sometimes because I am so cute it hurts their eyes. That must be it. I have my very own hashtag on instagram, so you can see me all the time at #hankthesausage
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